google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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