There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
