oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
