I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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