We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
