how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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