In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
