I can tuck mytits in my pants
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
