so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So much Jack, so little girl.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
