Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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