she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
