so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize