White coat. Heels.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
