K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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