I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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