I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize