what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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