Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's rum buckets o'clock
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
