I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
