He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude i'm inner monologue high
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
