guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
