I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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