My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize