nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We left the knife in your bed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
