u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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