Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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