One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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