Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
