Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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