I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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