You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I believe in your delicious
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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