I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
