How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
