dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
