I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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