I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
