somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"