Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!