How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him