jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?