I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.