Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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