3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
