Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
