I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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