i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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