so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
