so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
