Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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