i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
