sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
