Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize