we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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