I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The power of my boobs compel you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
