So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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