Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
