did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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