Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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