3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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