i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
