why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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