I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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