you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
