I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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